Students learn best methods to remain safe, strong and free
Second of two parts (click to read part one)
By Erick Rommel
Head Staff Writer
Since its creation in 1985, more than two million public and pri-vate school students and 250,000 parents and teachers have participated in New Jersey Child Assault Prevention workshops.
These programs educate parents and teachers about various types of child assault and the statistics regarding the millions affected every year.
Beginning with the 2004-2005 school year, the diocese required all schools to institute the CAP program.
Once it has been completed by 90 percent of Catholic school students, CAP training will be expanded into all religious education classes across the diocese.
Dr. Mary Kay Cullinan, director, Office of Religious Education, expects that goal to be reached in the fall of 2005.
The religious education component would serve as a refresher for both Catholic and public school students, most of which have also gone through the program, which has a parent and student component.
Adult workshops are typically held prior to the classroom sessions, without children being present. Facilitators frankly discuss the myths surrounding abuse, the prevalence of assault, indicators of abuse and encourage active listening skills. “We encourage parents to listen to their children,” said Mary Rotunno, executive director of the Middlesex County office of the New Jersey Child Assualt Prevention Program. “Too many times, the children tell us their parents don’t have time to listen.”
Parents are also encouraged to be advocates. “We are responsible for all children in our community, not just our own,” Rotunno said.
While the information given during adult workshops would scare many children, school workshops take a different approach. “For adults, the information is very serious,” Rotunno explained. “For the kids, it’s a fun learning experience.”
Kindergarten students receive the program in two 45-minute sessions. All other students have one hour-long class.
In St. Francis Cathedral School, Metuchen, students in kindergarten through sixth grade received CAP training for three days beginning May 4. The facilitators in the fifth grade class the first day were Kathi Indiviglio, Regina Cruz-Burden and Carleen Kruty.
Class began with the students learning their rights. “There are three rights everyone has, both kids and adults,” Indiviglio explained, “the right to be safe, strong and free.”
The class proceeded through three role-playing skits, led by Cruz-Burden and Kruty. In the first, they demonstrated a bully demanding lunch money; in the second, they role-played a stranger trying to kidnap a child, in the third, they acted a situation where a family member wanted an inappropriate kiss.
After each skit, the facilitators talked with the students about what happened, how the rights to be safe, strong and free were being violated and the proper way to respond. Cruz-Burden and Kruty then reenacted the skit, demonstrating what the students learned.
Among the lessons, when to use violence, when to tell someone when something inappropriate occurred and the strenght of the word ‘no’.
“It’s a small word, but powerful,” Indiviglio told students, adding that it’s more appropriate than hitting a bully, because violence takes away the bully’s rights and that the student is then doing something wrong as well.
In many cases, she recommended that a child yell as loud as possible if threatened and instructed the other children to yell as well if they heard someone calling for help.
In situations when violence can’t be avoided, for example, with a kidnapper, students received basic instruction for fighting back.
Students were also encouraged to tell a family member or friend whenever anything inappropriate happens, and learned why doing so isn’t tattling. “Tattling is telling when no one is being hurt,” Indiviglio explained. “If you tell when someone takes away your right to be safe, strong and free, it’s not tattling and you should tell someone.
“Don’t stop telling, even if your parents don’t listen,” she added. “Sometimes when you tell, they don’t believe you. You must keep telling until you get help.”
In the case of inappropriate touching, she told the students, “It’s always the adult’s fault when something like this happens, no matter what they want you to believe.”
After the class is complete, the children have the opportunity to speak privately with one of the instructors. “The purpose is not to weed out molesters and abusers,” explained Rotunno. “It’s to answer questions.”
If a student does mention a reportable type of abuse, the facilitator is required by law to report it.
One report, several years ago, involved Indiviglio. A young boy spoke with her after a Spanish workshop she taught. The boy told her that he and his two older brothers had been taken from their mother in Puerto Rico. He said his father was a violent drinker who beat the three and one brother was going to run away.
After talking with him and the school principal, a report was filed with the state. Three days later, the boy and his brothers returned home to their mother.
*The attached/referenced article was originally published in The Catholic Spirit, the official newspaper of the Diocese of Metuchen, and is protected under U.S. and international copyright law